Things seem to be really spinning out of control. And the only thing that I am continuly asking for is support and, I can’t even get that. I’m exhausted daily and it seems that there is not anyone or anything that cares. I arrive home daily and the first thing that I do is pass out on my bed. I can’t really do this anymore. I have to concentrate on my studies and I can’t do that right. My friend told me last week that I need to find a balance, how do I do that when it seems that every thing that I touch is slowly spinning out of my reach?
My eating disorder is in full effect. I can’t keep anything down and I have no desire to eat anything. I try but that only leads to me binging and purging. I’m either severely restricting or binging on a daily bases!! I hate this. I want things to get better, but when will they? I don’t feel that I deserve anything, because I feel that I have brought all of this negative energy on myself. I bit harsh of a thought, but I am being honest. I feel that if I hadn’t found ED or used ED as a crutch, I won’t be in so much emotional pain.
