I'm not sure about things anymore. I'm tired of trying....just neeeve thd the pain to go away. Don't believe the smile. It's fake.

Tears

All I can do is cry, the pain inside is so deep!!! I know that God does not give me more than I can handle, but it is times like this that I wish, He won't trust me so much. My tears just keep falling.

I know this is not my time for what I want, and I glorify Him for all that He has done and will continue to do for me. I just want the pain and the tears to stop.

uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!?!?!? I so feel the urge to cut right now and I'm doing the best that I can to fight this, but it is not working because I have been feeling this way for the last couple of hours. I hate this....really trying my hardest not to give in to this urge.

I came home from work and cleaned out my fridge and freezer. I feel a lot better that there isn't much food left in my fridge. It just kinda takes some sort of weight off of my shoulders.

I'm a firm believer that the tongue has the power to speak life/death into a persons spirit. No one should ever have to wonder if they are loved or that someone is proud of them. Get in the habit of speaking life to everyone person God has placed in your life. I am!

not doing os great. Went to dinner with friends, which was really nice. But my ED was there with me and I had the most difficult time eating. To the point that someone made a comment that I did not eat enough of my dinner. I tried to tell her that I had had enough and she was just like yeah right. I did everything that I could to eat more, but I started to feel sick to my stomach. And I hated it. I can't take this anymore ED is really starting to play with my emotions right now and I hate it. I wish that he or it or what ever it may be just go away.