I'm really starting to believe that this is how my life is going to be forever. I  had been doing well or at least I thought I was. But I'm starting to think that I was fooling myself. I came into this thing with very high hopes and the only thing that  I'm good at right now is failing and falling hard. My thoughts are compulsive and I can't stop them. I am doing what  I can to fight these thoughts, but I am slow sleeping to what makes me feel better or yet comfortable.