Fighting........

I’m finding things to be really hard right now. I thought that taking medical leave from work would help, but it hasn’t and I have been released from work for a week now. And nothing seems to be getting better. I really need a lot of inspiration right now.

I have managed to attend a weekly Lunch Hour Bible study, that has been a great blessing to me. And I am so grateful for it.

I’m struggling with ED right now. And it hurts. I’m doing the best that I can to not focus and given to those behaviors and thoughts, but it seems that ED is screaming daily for me to give in to him. I don’t want to, but at times it seems that ED voice is louder than my own. I’m really trying not to purge, and distract myself, it only works to a certain degree. I wish I could start Renfrew as soon as possible, but it doesn’t seem that is going to be likely because I’m going on vacation with my mom from July 1-14 and there is no way that I can start the program now and leave without being medical discharged and Heather has already informed me that that isn’t going to be possible, because I have a lot of work that I need to do. =(

That’s all for now, I gotta try and finish this chapter. I started yesterday and I feel that it shouldn’t take me 3 days to read it, I should have finished the both of them by today. =(

Perfectionism SUCKS!!!!