IP.....

I know that I need IP, but just the thought of it scares me, because I feel that I would be giving up so much. Like, what if I decide to go IP would I lose my apartment, how will a mange with bills. I know those are just excuse to keep me stuck in my ED but those are the types of things that I worry about. But I know IP is something that I need. I need to get away from the things that are causing me to use symptoms and causing me to avoid the real under lining issues.

The ED part of me feels that I don't need IP, that is manly because I was telling my aunt about my current struggles and she told she felt that I was depending on Renfrew and therapy too much. She said that if she felt that I need this much therapy, she would have been snatched me up and put me in the hospital. (She is a Dr. of Clinical Psychology) So, I have been battling with the thought that she is right, may be I am not as made off as I think that I am. May be I am depending too much on Renfrew and therapy. I know this isn't rational thinking, but I just feel like I am depending on everyone else thoughts, but my own right now, and that scares me.