Random thoughts at this current momment. ....

I fuckin hate when people try and make decsions for me!! Your not me so don't even try. Because you have decided to be selfish and not want to be around me I'm left here thinking that there is something wrong with me. Although, logically I know that it is not. I just feel comepletly worthless and even hopeless at times. The only thing that is keeping me focused right now is the number that I am seeing on the scale. Yes, I am allowing that number to control how I feel. Only because it is the verything that is keeping me at peace right now. I love the fact that when I step on the scale the number is getting smaller. I love setting small goals for myself. This is in hope that one day I will which my ultimite weight goal. on't ask me what that is because I am not telling. I will just say that my 1st short term goal is to lose 15 pounds by June 8. Which I think is totally doable. Partly, becasue there is no food in my house and I don't have the time nor do I desire to make the time to go shopping for food anytime soon. I am heading to a therapy session now and I after that I will be going ohme ot lace up my running shoes. I have found the obsession of running and it feels so freeing.