Weekend Thoughts....

I'm beyond frustrated with my eating disorder right now. I don't understand this feelings anymore. One minute I am feeling fine and doing well, but the minute that I have to start to think about eating, I start to feel sick to my stomach and I can't explain why. All I know is that I feel nauseous and I'm welling to do anything tho make this feeling go away. Even if that means skipping a meal or two. Today I have managed to have a boost, 2slices of toast with butter, a resse's cup and 2 cokes. I don't want anything else. I just want the thoughts in my head to be gone. I don't think this is ever going to get easier. And I feel like a failure.