"When dealing with people remember that you,yourself are not perfect. Never forget what God brought you from to get you to where you are."
Really trying to find inspiration to keep fighting. Not really sure how long I'm going to be able to continue with this act. That's just it, I don't want to be fake anymore, it is taking to much of my energy. I'm tired all the time, anxiety is really starting to a toll on everything that I once enjoyed. That makes me sad. I have been trying for the last 2 weeks just to get someone to understand how I feel, but I don't feel that I am being listened to because of the stupid stereotypes that are placed on persons with people who deal with eating disorders. I really feel that I don't have one. May never have one until reach my ultimate goal, not sure what that is, but I am sure it will raise a few eyebrows. Not that that is something I want to do, but maybe....
This purging is killing my vocal cords. I purged twice today and it's only 11am. This feeling of lack of control is really starting to bother me.
It all seems to have started Saturday morning. That is when I learned that Adeja lost her fight with cancer. Adeja was born with sickle cell. Adeja participated a stem cell research study that allowed her to use cord blood and have a transplant. This transplant cured her of sickle cell. But, that came with a hefty price, her health. Adeja soon developed a brain tumor and a weak immune system, seizures. All the while this little angel did not focus on her pain, she wanted to make sure that everyone else was comfortable. Last Tuesday we learned that her lungs were failing and by Friday she had only a smart portion of her lungs working. The doctors made her very comfortable. She was awake on Thursday requesting a Boost and a doughnut. :) But, Friday she began to breath a lot slower. She passed in the early morning on Saturday July 31, 2010. Although I know and understand that Adeja is no longer in any pain. She is with our heavenly father. Which the ultimate gift and it feels selfish that I want her here, but I know heaven is the place that God wants her. Her job here is finished, she has touched many lives in her short time here on earth. She is sleeping and playing freely as a child should. And God greeted her at the pearly gates and told her "Adeja, Job well done" That bring me peace although I want her her, I to will say Adeja job well done!!! Rest well princess.
0 comments:
Post a Comment