Lonely

I'm not really in a good space right now. I feel myself going further and further into eating disordered behaviors and I feel that there is nothing that I can do about. I'm in a place were the only thing that people seem to do here is out all the time. I have been here for a week and that is the only thing that I have been doing is eating out. So until I leave here I'm going to be restricting. Do I want to no. But that is the only thing that I feel that is keeping me safe right now. Right now I have the urge the purge and I'm doing my best not to act on it, but it does not seem like that is going to be possible. The urge seems stronger than myself. I hate this feeling, it is so lonely. I wish that I had someone to talk to, but no one gets it. And I can't seem to explain. The only thing that I know is that I hate living this way, I want to get better. Bulimia is such a secretive and lonely disorder.